The Clan of the MacQuillins
Synopsis: An epic tale in twelve scenes with no scenery, set in Scotland, Ireland and the New World of the 17th Century, based on a legend in the author’s family. A grant of land, a broken romance, a blood feud, a grand adventure, and fate — which always makes certain
each of us will have to shoulder at least one unique burden in life — the one most difficult for each of us to bear. 8 men, 2 women, no set.
Set: A bare stage. A place for imagination and theatricality. Almost nothing is needed beyond a strong wooden table, benches, and two poles.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Scene Six: in order to settle a long standing feud, two families meet to parley:
(they pour two more and drink
UNCLE WILLIAM (cont’d)
Mr. MacQuillin…
ANGUS
Call me Angus.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Sir, I have a daughter. Arlena. And she is ready for marriage.
ANGUS
Mmm.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Now I will tell you true, she has had bad luck with men.
ROY
The first man she was to marry, fell from a horse
and broke his neck.
UNCLE WILLIAM
The second man she was to marry, was caught out
upon the road in the rain, took a chill and died.
ANGUS
So why would I want this bad luck woman to marry
into my family?
UNCLE WILLIAM
She is my favorite daughter, and it breaks my heart
to see her mourn so.
ANGUS
This should be my affair?
UNCLE WILLIAM
She is comely.
ROY
Very pretty.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Not deserving of the misfortune that has come to her.
ANGUS
Do any of us deserve misfortune?
MACDUFF
Some more than others.
RANKIN
Some more than all.
UNCLE WILLIAM
But not my Arlena. A heart of pure gold.
ANGUS
Then she should have no trouble finding a husband.
MACDUFF
Indeed, she does not.
ROY
She does not.
UNCLE WILLIAM
But she saw one of your sons from her window.
ANGUS
Who?
UNCLE WILLIAM
His name is Thomas I believe.
ANGUS
Oh.
(looks around, realizes)
Well, he’s not here today.
FRANK
That’s right. He’s off.
RANKIN
On an errand.
UNCLE WILLIAM
This son of yours, this Thomas, is he a good man?
ANGUS
Good?
UNCLE WILLIAM
Is he honest?
ANGUS
Mmm…
UNCLE WILLIAM
A good worker?
ANGUS
Well, if beaten.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Pardon?
ANGUS
He can work. All us MacQuillins can work.
UNCLE WILLIAM
These two young people, they should meet.
ANGUS
Of course they should meet.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Soon.
ANGUS
Very soon. But I am sure you are knowing, sir,
that marriage is heavy burden on a man.
UNCLE WILLIAM
If there is a marriage between my
daughter and your son, then we will
give to them as their very own,
that land we now dispute.
ANGUS
You mean the land that should be ours anyway?
UNCLE WILLIAM
And I will gift to them on their wedding day,
as well as to you, sir, twenty fine sheep.
ANGUS
Twenty?
UNCLE WILLIAM
Forty, altogether.
ROY
Twenty for you, twenty for them.
UNCLE WILLIAM
And a nice little cottage I would help them build.
ANGUS
Well…
UNCLE WILLIAM
As well as a case of whiskey.
ANGUS
A case?
UNCLE WILLIAM
All right. Two cases.
ANGUS
How many jugs come in a case?
MACDUFF
Six.
ANGUS
Ah! That would be…
(counts on his fingers)
RANKIN
Twelve.
ANGUS
Twelve altogether!
UNCLE WILLIAM
And this is a way we can settle the differences
between us, as well as throw a huge feast in the bargain.
ANGUS
We won’t have to drink my whiskey, will we, at this feast?
UNCLE WILLIAM
Of course not.
ROY
We will bring the drink and won’t be stingy.
UNCLE WILLIAM
A feast like you have never seen.
MACDUFF
The MacDuffs are good at such things.
UNCLE WILLIAM
So what say you?
ANGUS
Well now.
(considers)
The sun is out. It is a beautiful day.
And I believe this is “nearly” a fair bargain.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Nearly?
ANGUS
(sighs)
It is a great burden to lose a son such as Thomas.
FRANK
A good worker.
ANGUS
And I believe he would make a fine
husband for your daughter.
FRANK
Hard worker.
RANKIN
Let’s not overdo it, Frank.
ANGUS
So we might be needing just a little bit more,
to set this whole matter right.
MACDUFF
The price is too steep.
UNCLE WILLIAM
That is for me to say, Joseph.
(pauses)
If this Thomas is a good man, and he
and my daughter are married, I will
not only give all that I have already promised,
I will let you have use of the small pasture
across the road.
MACDUFF
It is too much, William.
RANKIN
You must truly love your daughter.
MACDUFF
He has to.
ROY
She has episodes, you know.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Roy!
ROY
Sorry.
ANGUS
What?
MARY
Episodes?
UNCLE WILLIAM
There is nothing wrong with my daughter.
ANGUS
I’m sure there isn’t.
MACDUFF
Not a girl in Ulster comes with such a dowry.
ANGUS
But you’ll be getting MacQuillin blood in your family,
and from the likes of it I can tell you need it.
UNCLE WILLIAM
What say you, sir?
ANGUS
I say these two young lovers, this
future man and wife, they should meet.
UNCLE WILLIAM
That would be good. The day before Sabbath of this
coming week,
you will come to my place, and there we will throw a feast.
ANGUS
A little get together of the clans.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Aye.
ANGUS
It is good. It is good this is happening.
UNCLE WILLIAM
You will talk to your son?
ANGUS
Ohh, I will talk to him.
UNCLE WILLIAM
I wish he were here now so I could meet him.
Look him square in the eye.
ANGUS
There will be time enough for that.
UNCLE WILLIAM
Good. Much was accomplished here today.
ANGUS
Indeed it was.
UNCLE WILLIAM
And if all works well, why this summer, a wedding.
ANGUS
And we shall be related.
(pauses)
That does give a man pause.
UNCLE WILLIAM
It shall be fine.
ANGUS
Indeed it shall.
(goes to him)
Now admit it, MacDuff, now that you can.
You moved the marker and took that piece of land.
MACDUFF
(a near acknowledgment)
Heh. Let’s go, Roy.
(MACDUFF and ROY exit
ANGUS
Ha! Knew it! Mr. William, a pleasure. A rare pleasure indeed.
UNCLE WILLIAM
We shall see you, sir.
ANGUS
Oh, very soon, sir. Good day to you.
(UNCLE WILLIAM exits
ANGUS (cont’d)
By God’s pajamas, we have done it!
MARY
Don’t use such language.
FRANK
Who would have thought Thomas
would ever turn out to be so valuable?
(ANGUS and FRANK laugh
RANKIN
I don’t know, pa.
ANGUS
Don’t know? I am amazed he has turned out
to be good for anything at all.
FRANK
And the bargain you drove, pa.
ANGUS
Getting the pasture across the road!
FRANK
Yes!
ANGUS
Oh, I can drive a sharp one when I have to.
MARY
They say she has episodes.
ANGUS
What is an episode? What does that even mean?
RANKIN
She might be mad.
ANGUS
Mad?
FRANK
She is not.
ANGUS
She couldn’t be.
RANKIN
Why give so much if she isn’t? Why
so load her down with spoils if she isn’t
somehow…touched?
(pause
TEAGUE
Yonder comes Thomas.
ANGUS
Oh, late as always.
TEAGUE
I will run tell him the news.
(TEAGUE exits
RANKIN
Surely they could get another bride groom for less.
Why pay so much? And for Thomas?
ANGUS
Why are you always so gloomy?
RANKIN
I don’t know, pa. It comes from thinking.
ANGUS
We have a chance to be related
to the richest people in the district
and you say don’t know?
RANKIN
A distillery is not a good enough reason
to arrange a marriage.
FRANK
But land is.
MARY
And to have a little peace, that is worth it.
ANGUS
Not a day’s work have I gotten out of Thomas.
Ever!
So now he can do his part to help this family
and marry this girl.
(THOMAS enters, followed by TEAGUE
THOMAS
So. I am to marry Arlena MacDuff?
ANGUS
You will meet her, yes.
THOMAS
What makes you think I will marry a woman
I have never even met?
ANGUS
You will meet her.
THOMAS
A year ago I was ready to marry Maeve.
ANGUS
That was a year ago.
THOMAS
Oh, but I could not marry her
because you had a fight with her family.
But now I can marry Arlena?
Even though her family tried to cheat you?
ANGUS
There is much involved in this, young man.
THOMAS
Teague has told me what is involved.
FRANK
Land.
ANGUS
Fine pieces of land.
THOMAS
I don’t care.
ANGUS
You will care!
THOMAS
I will not marry this mutt! I will not marry this Arlena MacDuff!
(pause
TEAGUE
She is not a mutt.
MARY
Son, please now. They are a clan far bigger than us.
FRANK
You are young and don’t know the
pleasures of marriage.
THOMAS
I know the pleasures of women, if not of marriage.
MARY
And it is time to stop that kind of sinning, son.
ANGUS
Do you think the Lord God will bless you,
if you keep carrying on like you do?
RANKIN
Remember what the church teaches, Thomas.
A good time is nearly always followed by pain or death.
ANGUS
Rankin.
RANKIN
Or occasionally worse, marriage.
MARY
Oh, shut up.
THOMAS
It will be my choice who I want to
settle with.
FRANK
In the old days, there was none of this meeting before marriage.
MARY
Son, please.
TEAGUE
She is not so bad.
THOMAS
Not so bad?
TEAGUE
She is not so bad at all. We saw her that day, Thomas.
THOMAS
She is strange and holds her head like this.
TEAGUE
She was up in the window, far away, how can you tell?
RANKIN
They say she has episodes.
THOMAS
What kind?
RANKIN
I don’t know. Maybe she chews her hair.
FRANK
They say she is a pretty woman.
TEAGUE
She is!
FRANK
So there. She is not some hag. You will learn to love her.
ANGUS
With that dowry, she could have the pick
of all Ulster as her very own. And she chooses you.
RANKIN
She must be mad.
FRANK
She must.
TEAGUE
Meet her, Thomas.
ANGUS
You will meet her, that’s all I am
saying.
MARY
And you will do your best to be a kind
and good gentleman to this woman.
FRANK
There is a feast in this. Come on now.
THOMAS
(considers)
All right. I will meet her.
ANGUS
Good.
THOMAS
If you wish to sell out the family honor for just a few sheep…
FRANK
(gives his brother a drink)
Sheep and land and whiskey.
MARY
And peace.
ANGUS
I am well satisfied with the bargain that has been struck.
THOMAS
This is good whiskey.
MARY
It is their very own.
THOMAS
(signals for more whiskey)
So, you are saying there will not be a war between us and them?
ANGUS
That’s what I am saying.
THOMAS
A pity.
ANGUS
Thomas, I am no longer young and do not
wish to get up every morning and fight
the world. Let your father have a happy old age, boy, with his two cases of whiskey.
THOMAS
I will meet her.
ANGUS
Good.
THOMAS
But beyond that I promise naught.
RANKIN
Why would they pay so much?
THOMAS
To have me? Pshaw. Of course they would pay much to have me as a husband.
(THOMAS drinks
END OF SCENE
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